St Gloriana vs Kuromorimine War!
by Sduffy
Summary: My imagining of the semi-final match between St. Gloriana and Kuromorimine that took place during the TV series, written in proper screenplay format. This is an OVA I'd like to see! Disclaimer: Girls und Panzer is copyright Actas and Girls und Panzer Projekt. I do not own anything apart from the original characters herein.


**ST. GLORIANA VS. KUROMORIMINE WAR!**

EXT. ST. GLORIANA WOMEN'S ACADEMY - AFTERNOON

We open with an aerial shot of the St. Gloriana Women's Academy campus. It's a typical British public school built in the Victorian Gothic revival style with buildings grouped around a quadrangle and surrounded by immaculate grounds.

The camera pushes in on a ground floor window and we hear DARJEELING's voice.

DARJEELING

I am proud to say that we have reached the semi-finals.

INT. ST. GLORIANA WOMEN'S ACADEMY - COMMON ROOM - AFTERNOON

The room has several large multi-paned windows along one wall, bright with sunlight. The ceiling is decorated with fine plasterwork and the walls are covered in heavy-framed oil paintings. A fireplace dominates one end of the room.

Fifteen St. Gloriana sensha-dō team tank commanders in their dark blue school uniforms are gathered on a number of overstuffed armchairs and settees. Wooden tables support finger sandwiches, cakes and the inevitable tea sets.

DARJEELING is standing by a portable whiteboard that clashes with the rest of the room's antique elegance.

DARJEELING

But once more we face our old friends, Kuromorimine.

This provokes a chorus of mock groans from the seniors in the room.

1ST YEAR

Tigers against Matildas? We don't stand a chance!

DARJEELING

Let me tell you an English proverb: A poor workman blames his tools.

1ST YEAR

Pardon?

DARJEELING

We can still win if we use our strengths of teamwork and organisation. Even a Tiger has its weak points.

DARJEELING indicates the battlefield map on the whiteboard.

The camera pushes in on the map as DARJEELING describes its features.

DARJEELING

This is our playing field. It has a central plateau surrounded by jungle. The plateau is ideal tank terrain, flat and open. The jungle is thick and will be difficult for vehicles to traverse. However, it is crisscrossed by numerous trails. This presents us with many ambush possibilities. The key to our success will be communication and coordination. You will all have to know this map like the back of your hand.

DARJEELING indicates another area on the whiteboard:

1x Churchill Mk. VII, 4x Matilda II Mk. III/IV (A Troop)

3x Cromwell Mk. IV (B Troop)

3x Valentine Mk. IX (C Troop)

3x Crusader Mk. III (D Troop)

1x Vickers Mk. VIc (reconnaissance)

DARJEELING

Here is our order of battle. We will split into four troops along with the Mark VI as our reconnaissance element. You will be our eyes, Ceylon-san.

CEYLON, MARK VI COMMANDER

(Grinning)

Understood, commander.

DARJEELING

Kuromorimine will undoubtedly try to concentrate their tanks into the unstoppable force we all know and love.

This gets some laughter from the assembly.

DARJEELING

The thick foliage will hamper their efforts. Our troops will harass them, approaching from different bearings and avoiding direct attack. We also have a trick up our sleeve.

1ST YEAR

Is it entirely proper to resort to trickery?

DARJEELING smiles wolfishly at this.

DARJEELING

Guile and misdirection are a part of sensha-dō. I must admit to having been inspired by Ōarai High School in their match against Saunders. Kuromorimine will not have an easy task ahead of them tomorrow.

EXT. ST. GLORIANA STAGING AREA – MORNING

It's the day of the match. St. Gloriana's assembly area is some open ground on the edge of the jungle. The air is thick with diesel fumes and engine noise.

Three Scammell Pioneers are disembarking the troop of Crusader tanks, while the other troops are already maneuvering into position.

Mysterious bundles, similar to large duffle bags are being loaded onto the rear decks of the tanks.

DARJEELING and ORANGE PEKOE in their red battle uniforms are walking along the lines of vehicles, holding cups of tea.

DARJEELING

Ah, the scent of competition! Let us hope the gods of battle smile on us today.

They pass the trio of Cromwell cruiser tanks. One of them, the flag tank, has a homemade banner displayed along the side of the hull: NEXT STOP FINALS!

DARJEELING

(Pointing at the banner)

Someone knows where we're going!

The Cromwell's crew gives her a cheery thumbs-up.

ORANGE PEKOE notices the Vickers Mk. VI parked to one side. It is festooned with camouflage netting to the point where it resembles a mobile hillock. Its crew, CEYLON, NILGIRI and KEEMUN are standing beside it, drinking tea (of course).

CEYLON, a brunette with a bob haircut and grey eyes, is wearing a long, striped scarf in the school colours with her otherwise regulation uniform. KEEMUN, a pugnacious-looking, blue-eyed redhead is frowning at her watch. NILGIRI has her dark blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail and is absently dunking her teabag in a china cup, brown eyes half closed. They're all second years.

ORANGE PEKOE

It's such a small tank.

CEYLON overhears her.

CEYLON

That is our advantage, Miss Pekoe!

ORANGE PEKOE blushes.

ORANGE PEKOE

I beg your pardon, senpei!

CEYLON grins in a friendly manner.

CEYLON

Quite all right, I assure you. Our small profile allows us to hide easily. That and our speed are what keep us safe in battle. If the enemy manage hit us with anything larger than a popgun, it's curtains!

DARJEELING

Good luck today, Ceylon-san.

CEYLON

And to you too, commander. We will keep you apprised of the enemy movements, depend on it!

DARJEELING

(To ORANGE PEKOE)

Come on, it's time for us to greet Maho-san.

EXT. KUROMORIMINE STAGING AREA - MORNING

Another clearing on the opposite side of the battlefield. Kuromorimine's tanks are ranked with Teutonic precision. Panthers, Panzer IIIs, Jagdpanzer IVs, a Tiger I and a Tiger II are visible.

MAHO and ERIKA watch as DARJEELING and ORANGE PEKOE arrive in a Humber Scout Car and walk briskly over to meet them.

ERIKA

(Smirking)

Here come the tea ladies.

MAHO and DARJEELING exchange bows, then shake hands.

MAHO

We meet again, Darjeeling-san.

DARJEELING

I look forward to a challenging match, Maho-san. Your sister certainly surprised us.

MAHO blinks, but otherwise gives nothing away. ERIKA scowls.

MAHO

(Blandly)

She has done well. As I intend to do today.

They turn away, heading back towards their respective teams.

EXT. MATCH VIEWING AREA - MORNING

A giant TV screen rests on its rail car 'Leopold' facing the packed bleachers. The split screen shows the St. Gloriana and KMM formations, blue and red icons on a hex grid.

ANNOUNCER

Welcome to the St. Gloriana Women's Academy versus Kuromorimine High School national semi-finals match! Let battle commence!

EXT. ST. GLORIANA STAGING AREA - MORNING

The various troops lurch into motion and head down different paths into the vegetation.

The Vickers Mk. VI speeds off in front.

INT. VICKERS MK. VI INTERIOR - MORNING

CEYLON is studying a map and wearing radio headphones and a microphone. NILGIRI is driving and KEEMUN is standing beside CEYLON in the turret as the gunner.

CEYLON

We need to make the grid reference before our opponents, Nilgiri, so drive like you stole it!

NILGIRI

Righto!

NILGIRI upshifts and floors the accelerator.

EXT. JUNGLE TRACK - MORNING

The Mk. VI tears down the track into the distance, raising a swirl of leaf debris.

INT. CHURCHILL MK. VII INTERIOR - MORNING

DARJEELING is poring over the battlefield map as reports come in over the radio from the other troops.

RADIO

D troop in position at grid reference 4974. Deploying spoofs.

RADIO

B troop established at 4373. No sign of the enemy.

RADIO

C troop approaching the junction at 4275.

RADIO

Recce unit here, we have the enemy in sight!

EXT. JUNGLE - MORNING

We can just make out the Vickers Mk. VI in a patch of jungle, almost completely obscured by the undergrowth.

INT. VICKERS MK. VI INTERIOR - MORNING

We see CEYLON's POV through the commander's periscope as the Kuromorimine column travels past them only about twenty meters away.

CEYLON

Grid reference 5074, heading northwest in column formation. I count one Tiger and one King Tiger leading, four Panthers, four Jagdpanzer IVs and four Panzer IIIs at the back. One of the Panthers is the flag tank.

INT. CHURCHILL MK. VII INTERIOR - MORNING

DARJEELING is plotting the sighting on her map. She smiles.

DARJEELING

(Into radio)

D troop, use the track at 5075 to approach the enemy rear. You may attack at your discretion.

EXT. JUNGLE TRACK - MORNING

At the head of the KMM column, ERIKA is unbuttoned in the cupola of her Tiger II. She peers forward through binoculars.

We see ERIKA's POV as she carefully scans the path ahead. The trail leads uphill and curves slightly to the left. On a slight rise, behind a line of ferns, there are the faint outlines of...

ERIKA

Enemy panzers, bearing 020!

MAHO

Open fire!

The Tiger I and Tiger II halt next to each other on the trail and train their turrets around to the right.

They fire almost simultaneously.

INT. TIGER II INTERIOR - MORNING

Looking through the gun sight of the Tiger II, we see one of the shells strike home. The target's silhouette crumples in on itself and disappears.

EXT. JUNGLE TRACK - MORNING

The Panthers meanwhile are trying to bring their guns to bear on the enemy position, but the track barely has room for three tanks abreast.

One of the Panthers crashes through the vegetation to the side to try and flank the ambush position, but the going is slow through the thick undergrowth.

Another shot explodes on the rise ahead, and another tank silhouette collapses strangely.

ERIKA

What...?

EXT. JUNGLE TRACK - MORNING

At the end of the KMM formation, the four Pzkpfw IIIs are idling, the commanders craning their necks trying to see ahead past the tanks in front.

The camera pulls out and pans back along the trail to reveal three Crusader Mk. IIIs approaching them at speed.

D TROOP COMMANDER

Tally ho!

The Crusaders open fire. The first few shots are near misses, exploding around the Panzer IIIs much to the consternation of their operators.

PANZER III COMMANDER

They're behind us!

In quick succession, two of the Panzer IIIs are knocked out as the Crusader gunners correct their aim. The white flags deploy with their characteristic THWIP sound.

EXT. JUNGLE TRACK - MORNING

Back to the Tigers up front. The last supposed enemy tank is destroyed under the barrage of fire.

ERIKA reacts to the report from the rearguard.

ERIKA

No!

MAHO

(Calmly, to her driver)

Take us forward.

(Into radio)

Panzer 11, Panzer 12, turn and engage the enemy to our rear.

MAHO's Tiger drives forwards, up the sloping path. The turret turns to point over the engine deck.

INT. TIGER I INTERIOR - MORNING

Looking through MAHO's gunner's sight, she now has enough elevation to fire over the tanks behind.

The cross-hairs quickly centre on one of the Crusaders.

MAHO

Fire!

EXT. JUNGLE TRACK - MORNING

It's a near miss, but enough to make the Crusaders start to retreat.

Another Panzer III is hit as it begins to turn towards its attackers.

INT. TIGER I INTERIOR - MORNING

MAHO frowns.

MAHO

Again!

EXT. JUNGLE TRACK - MORNING

The Crusader is knocked backwards by the impact of the 88mm shell.

D TROOP COMMANDER

Fall back, fall back! We've done enough!

The remaining two tanks make good their escape under cover of the smoke from the burning wrecks.

EXT. JUNGLE TRACK - MORNING

MAHO turns to look at the position they have been attacking. Crumpled piles of plastic tubing and some scraps of olive drab rubber are smoldering amid the underbrush.

MAHO

They used inflatable decoys. Just like at the battle of El Alamein.

ERIKA

We cannot concentrate our forces properly under these conditions!

MAHO

Our Spähpanzer failed at its task. But we will not be fooled again. Make sure they are made aware of this.

ERIKA

Yes, commander.

MAHO

We must regain the initiative. We will find the enemy one by one, and if they stand and fight we will overrun them.

ERIKA smiles nastily.

EXT. JUNGLE TRACK - MORNING

C troop has arranged their Valentines off-road in an ambush position perpendicular to one of the trails. Their 'spoof' inflatable decoys are set up in a similar position on the opposite side of the trail a few hundred meters further up. The Valentines are well camouflaged, the decoys much less so.

INT. VALENTINE MK. IX INTERIOR - MORNING

C TROOP COMMANDER is briefing her crews.

C TROOP COMMANDER

Get ready! Recon reports the enemy are on their way. We'll let them pass us and then hit them in the flank when they engage the spoofs.

EXT. JUNGLE TRACK - MORNING

The roaring of engines and the squeal of tracks can be heard growing louder and louder.

Finally, the Tiger comes into view moving quickly, turret already traversing to face the supposedly concealed Valentines.

INT. VALENTINE MK. IX INTERIOR - MORNING

C TROOP COMMANDER looks nervous.

C TROOP COMMANDER

Um...

EXT. JUNGLE TRACK - MORNING

The Tiger fires at close range.

One of the Valentines brews up immediately.

C TROOP COMMANDER

They see us! Open fire!

The two remaining Valentines engage with their 6 pounders. It's no good, the shots glance off the Tiger's thick frontal armour.

The King Tiger appears next and promptly destroys C TROOP COMMANDER's tank.

The final Valentine reverses desperately, using its knocked out companions as cover.

VALENTINE COMMANDER

We've lost two tanks! Can you help us?!

INT. CHURCHILL MK. VII INTERIOR - MORNING

DARJEELING listens to the radio report and sucks in her breath.

DARJEELING

B troop, go to...

(She looks at her map)

Grid reference 4574 as quick as you can! Look for the enemy to the north!

EXT. JUNGLE TRACK - MORNING

B troop's three Cromwells are moving at full throttle.

They reach a fork in the road and bear left. The turrets train around on the move.

B TROOP COMMANDER is leaning far out of the turret hatch looking for targets, trying to keep her tea from sloshing everywhere.

We see B TROOP COMMANDER's POV as the trees blur past. She catches a glimpse of Dunkelgelb-coloured steel through the greenery...

B TROOP COMMANDER

Enemy left, bearing 280! Fire through the trees!

The Cromwells slow down and start shooting broadside through the intervening jungle at the KMM tanks travelling parallel in the opposite direction.

Shells explode against tree trunks, showering leaves and splinters everywhere.

Several shots make it through, one impacting on the side of a Panther, which grinds to a halt, spewing smoke.

The KMM tanks react with commendable promptitude, turning to face the attack.

The vegetation between the two forces becomes a maelstrom of exploding plants. As the obstacles are blown away, more rounds make it through.

One of the Cromwells suffers a hit to a tread, which unravels sending the broken end whipping around.

A Jagdpanzer IV blows up.

The two mobile Cromwells keep moving down the trail and run the gauntlet unscathed, disappearing into the distance.

The crippled St. Gloriana tank fires one last shot before it is rapidly hit three times and set afire.

The smoke clears to reveal that the strip of foliage between the two sides has been completely denuded by the barrage.

EXT. JUNGLE TRACK - MORNING

The final Valentine, meanwhile, has been sandwiched between the Tiger and King Tiger with no room to move.

MAHO and ERIKA spend an indecently long time training their guns on the hapless infantry tank.

INT. VALENTINE MK. IX INTERIOR – MORNING

The crew of the Valentine awaits their fate. The loader is covering her ears.

VALENTINE COMMANDER

Oh dear.

She squeezes her eyes shut and gulps her cup of tea.

EXT. JUNGLE - MORNING

A view of the jungle from above, looking out over the treetops.

Two reports ring out, followed by the sound of the white flag popping up.

INT. CHURCHILL MK. VII INTERIOR - MORNING

DARJEELING is showing some signs of strain: a few sweat drops on her brow. She taps her pencil on the map.

DARJEELING

That should not have happened. We've still not accounted for one of Kuromorimine's tanks. A scout, perhaps?

INT. VICKERS MK. VI INTERIOR - MORNING

CEYLON is annoyed.

CEYLON

How did they know about the ambush? Prepare to move out! We'll keep shadowing them.

EXT. JUNGLE TRACK - MORNING

The Vickers is in the midst of a cluster of trees near the site of the failed ambush. Before it can start up, a small tank in mottled brown, yellow and green camouflage pulls smoothly up alongside it.

The Vickers is still doing a reasonable impersonation of the plant life surrounding it and the interloper does not react to it.

INT. VICKERS MK. VI INTERIOR - MORNING

CEYLON, NILGIRI and KEEMUN look at each other, hearing the engine noise right beside them. Carefully, CEYLON rotates her periscope to the side and takes a look.

CEYLON

(Whispering)

They're right beside us! It's a Luchs!

KEEMUN

(Whispering)

It must have reconnoitered C troop's preparations.

(Pause)

Can I shoot it?

CEYLON

(Whispering)

It's faster than us, has thicker armour and a 20mm cannon, so no.

KEEMUN

(Whispering, peeved)

You always say that! I never get to shoot anything!

NILGIRI

(Whispering)

We can't do anything as long as it's right next to us! Commander Darjeeling needs our reports!

CEYLON

(Whispering)

Look, we'll give it a few minutes. It will have to move on eventually.

All three take simultaneous sips from their teacups. A minute passes. The trio looks around aimlessly. KEEMUN fidgets and checks her watch repeatedly. The third time she does so, her elbow dislodges the metal teapot balanced beside her and it bounces to the floor.

The loud clanks make them all jump.

KEEMUN

(forgetting to whisper)

...Sorry!

CEYLON grabs the periscope. Her POV shows the heads of the Pzkpfw II Luchs crew looking from side to side, puzzled, wondering where the sound came from.

EXT. JUNGLE TRACK - MORNING

The Luchs' crew now stares directly at the Vickers. The LUCHS COMMANDER jabs her finger at it and yells...

LUCHS COMMANDER

Enemy tank!

INT. VICKERS MK. VI INTERIOR - MORNING

CEYLON turns urgently to her crew.

CEYLON

Start up! Go, go, go!

EXT. JUNGLE TRACK - MORNING

The Vickers' engine roars into life. The gears engage and the tracks churn up the ground. Gouts of earth fly up as NILGIRI maneuvers the tank around the back of the Luchs and onto the path.

CEYLON

Make smoke!

Thick white smoke begins to vent out of the exhaust.

The Luchs reverses onto the trail and gives chase, fishtailing wildly.

LUCHS COMMANDER

Shoot them!

The Luchs begins firing its 20mm cannon blindly into the smoke cloud.

The view switches to facing the Vickers as tracer flies out of the cloud behind it, whizzing past and miraculously missing the light tank.

NILGIRI

Enemy ahead!

The Vickers has caught up to the rear of the KMM main column. The Luchs in turn has used its superior speed to draw parallel to its prey, passing out of the smoke.

NILGIRI dodges to the left around the rearmost Panzer III while the Luchs goes to the right.

INT. VICKERS MK. VI INTERIOR - MORNING

CEYLON, hanging on for dear life, turns to KEEMUN.

CEYLON

OK, you can shoot at them now!

KEEMUN

About time!

EXT. JUNGLE TRACK - MORNING

KEEMUN swings the 15mm Besa around and starts shooting at the Luchs.

Seen from above, both light tanks are now ducking and slaloming around the larger KMM tanks, using them for cover and blasting away at each other. Sparks fly as rounds zing off the larger vehicles.

At the head of the column, ERIKA hears the commotion and glances over her shoulder.

ERIKA

What the...?

The two assailants are now overtaking the heavy tanks in the vanguard. Both are still firing with abandon, ignoring whatever is in the way.

ERIKA cringes as rounds ricochet in all directions.

ERIKA

(barking into the radio)

What are you doing!? Stop shooting at us!

LUCHS COMMANDER

Don't worry about it! The 20mm will only scratch the paint!

CEYLON's tank executes a sharp right turn down a side trail.

The Luchs drives around the front of ERIKA's King Tiger to follow, forcing the King Tiger to brake sharply and throwing ERIKA off balance.

The Luchs is back inside the smoke cloud, but the driver guns the throttle and once again it begins to draw level with its quarry.

INT. VICKERS MK. VI INTERIOR - MORNING

NILGIRI too is pushing her tank to its utmost, hauling on the steering levers to jink around. She looks ahead through the vision slit to see the road emerge suddenly from the trees and make a hairpin turn up a steep rocky slope. It's too late to stop or make the turn.

NILGIRI

Uh oh.

EXT. CLIFFSIDE - MORNING

The Vickers and the overtaking Luchs leave the road and sail off the edge of a small cliff side-by-side in slow motion, treads rotating in thin air.

The two gunners still have their fingers hard down on the triggers and tracer floats back and forth between them.

A line of hits stitches along the side of the Luchs while a cannon shell hits the mantlet on the Vickers square on. The white flags appear exactly simultaneously.

Both tanks slam into the undergrowth below the cliff and time returns to normal.

Skidding sideways, they overturn and roll down the slope with loud metallic shrieks and crashes.

Finally, they come to rest upright in a haze of dust. The white flag on the Luchs is snapped off, the one on the Vickers is bent ninety degrees. Smaller bits and pieces continue to bounce down the hill around them.

Eventually, the hatches creak open and the crews emerge, bruised and coughing. CEYLON and the LUCHS COMMANDER, slightly stunned, make eye contact. They gaze at each other for a long moment. Unexpectedly, they both start grinning uncontrollably.

CEYLON

That. Was. Fantastic!

LUCHS COMMANDER

Did you see that jump?!

They burst into gales of laughter, while their crews look on dumbfounded.

INT. CHURCHILL MK. VII INTERIOR - MORNING

DARJEELING has her headphones pressed against one ear.

DARJEELING

Well, so much for our reconnaissance element. At least Kuromorimine lost theirs as well.

ORANGE PEKOE

Now what?

DARJEELING

As the English say, we will make do and mend. Ceylon-san's last report puts the enemy here.

She points at the map.

DARJEELING

We'll try a three pronged pincer on their likely route with ourselves and B and D troops.

EXT. JUNGLE RIDGELINE - MORNING

A troop's Churchill and accompanying Matildas trundle through the jungle until they reach a ridge covered in light underbrush.

They arrange themselves hull down on one side, overlooking one of the myriad paths. DARJEELING and ORANGE PEKOE observe from the Churchill's turret.

DARJEELING

B and D troops are in position to the south and east. If Kuromorimine continue on course from their last sighting, they should end up right under our guns.

She begins scanning around with her binoculars.

From in the distance we hear faintly the crackling and swishing sound of trees falling.

ORANGE PEKOE turns around slowly. From her POV, part of the jungle behind them seems alive and in distress. Treetops thrash wildly, then collapse.

The disturbance is getting closer.

ORANGE PEKOE

Commander!

DARJEELING turns as well and stares in fascination.

For a moment, the wind carries the revving of Maybach engines to them.

DARJEELING's eyes widen.

DARJEELING

Get on the reverse slope! Now!

The St. Gloriana tanks move forwards over the ridgeline just as Kuromorimine's heavy tanks bulldoze through the final line of trees behind them.

A Matilda, pitching down over the edge, is hit with an 88mm shell and somersaults forwards.

The others make it over safely and slew around as best they can on the steep slope to try to meet the attack.

The KMM tanks burst over the ridge above them, silhouetted against the bright sky.

ASSAM in the Churchill manages to score a lucky hit on the underside of a Panther as it comes over the crest.

Next minute, the hillside is full of tanks sliding down the loose soil, barely under control.

A Jagdpanzer IV, nose heavy, jams its cannon into the ground as it tips forward over the lip.

The flag Panther rams into the side of a Matilda, takes aim and destroys it even as they both careen downwards.

A couple of 2 pounder rounds bounce harmlessly off the turret of ERIKA's Tiger II.

The last two Matildas are caught in a cross-fire and are quickly dispatched.

DARJEELING

Back over the ridge! Get us out of here!

The superior mobility of the Churchill now pays off as it claws its way back up the gradient.

ERIKA sees this and motions her gunner to take aim. The King Tiger lumbers clumsily around in the soft ground trying to bring its cannon to bear in time.

ERIKA

Fire!

The shot strikes the top of the ridge throwing up a spray of black dirt just as the Churchill disappears over the edge.

INT. CHURCHILL MK. VII INTERIOR - MORNING

DARJEELING

(Into her microphone)

B and D troops, to me! We'll regroup on the plateau!

EXT. JUNGLE PLATEAU - NOON

On the periphery of the battlefield's central plateau, DARJEELING has gathered all her remaining tanks: her Churchill, the two Crusaders from D troop and the two Cromwells from B troop. The flag tank is still proudly displaying its NEXT STOP FINALS banner. The crews are unbuttoned.

DARJEELING

I'm afraid our options are rather limited.

ORANGE PEKOE sticks her head out of the loader's hatch, holding a teapot.

ORANGE PEKOE

Bad news, commander!

DARJEELING

What is it?

ORANGE PEKOE

The bivvie is broken. There's no more tea.

DARJEELING looks aghast.

DARJEELING

That's all we need. Well, that settles it. This will be our final stand.

She turns towards the opposite side of the plateau.

DARJEELING

Here they come.

Kuromorimine's tanks emerge into the open one by one: MAHO's Tiger, ERIKA's King Tiger, a Panzer III, three Jagdpanzer IVs and the two Panthers.

They form into a panzerkeil wedge formation facing St. Gloriana and wait.

DARJEELING

(To the surrounding crews)

Ladies, it has been an honour and a privilege to compete with you. We shall go once more into the breach. Trumpeter, sound the charge!

The LOADER on one of the Crusaders stares at her for a moment, then retrieves a bugle from inside the turret. She nervously buffs the brass with her sleeve, takes a deep breath and produces a single faint note.

DARJEELING

(Kindly)

Try again, if you please.

The LOADER looks embarrassed, puts the instrument to her lips again and this time sounds the call loudly.

In response, the quintet of tanks rolls forwards and picks up speed.

Across the plateau, the Kuromorimine tanks respond with a counter charge.

DARJEELING positions the Churchill to screen the Cromwell flag tank. The rest of the tanks spread out in line abreast, maintaining their dressing perfectly. The LOADER continues sounding the charge.

DARJEELING

Open fire!

MAHO

Fire!

Fountains of earth are flung up around each side's vehicles as the first salvos rain in. The crews wisely retreat inside their vehicles.

INT. CHURCHILL MK. VII INTERIOR – NOON

DARJEELING sits and picks up her microphone.

DARJEELING

All tanks! Aim for the flag Panther!

EXT. JUNGLE PLATEAU - NOON

The two sides continue to close on each other.

The view from on board the Churchill shows the muzzle flashes of the KMM tanks growing ever closer and the shells whipping past.

An explosion showers pebbles onto the front glacis. The camera judders.

INT. TIGER I INTERIOR – NOON

MAHO is peering out of the commander's vision slit.

MAHO

(To herself)

Magnificent! But it is not war.

EXT. JUNGLE PLATEAU - NOON

A trio of shots bracket the Churchill, but the thick armour manages to deflect the single hit.

INT. CHURCHILL MK. VII INTERIOR – NOON

DARJEELING winces as the clang reverberates around the inside of the tank.

DARJEELING

If we survive, we'll pass to the left of their flag tank. Assam-san, be ready to hit it from behind!

EXT. JUNGLE PLATEAU – NOON

As the range closes, the two Crusaders are hit one after the other and drop out of formation.

More guns are trained on the Churchill, still shielding the flag tank behind it.

INT. CHURCHILL MK. VII INTERIOR – NOON

DARJEELING puts her hand on the metal of the turret surrounding her, willing the tank onwards.

DARJEELING

Come on, old girl.

EXT. JUNGLE PLATEAU – NOON

An armour-piercing shell gouges a furrow along the side of the Churchill's turret. The range is now point blank.

INT. CHURCHILL MK. VII INTERIOR – NOON

DARJEELING grits her teeth in anticipation.

DARJEELING

Almost, almost.

EXT. JUNGLE PLATEAU – NOON

Our POV rotates around the centre of the action to face the Churchill it tilts at the flag Panther at high speed.

The Panther begins turning its long 75mm gun early, too early.

The tanks pass within inches of each other, the Churchill colliding with the Panther's gun barrel and snapping it clean off.

INT. CHURCHILL MK. VII INTERIOR – NOON

DARJEELING leans forward in excitement.

DARJEELING

Now! Shoot, shoot!

EXT. JUNGLE PLATEAU – NOON

In a split screen view, ASSAM brings the thinner rear armour of the Panther into her sights just as MAHO's Tiger nails the flag Cromwell squarely in the middle of the St. Gloriana emblem on the turret.

The Cromwell's gun barrel droops, the white flag deploys and it rolls dejectedly to a halt. A thin skein of smoke drifts lazily up from the neat, round black shell hole.

INT. CHURCHILL MK. VII INTERIOR - NOON

DARJEELING stares open mouthed. Finally, she lets out the breath she's been holding in a sigh.

EXT. JUNGLE PLATEAU - NOON

All the tanks slow and stop.

ANNOUNCER

St. Gloriana's flag tank has been immobilized! Kuromorimine High School is the winner!

EXT. VEHICLE RECOVERY AREA - AFTERNOON

Tank transporters are loaded with the battle's casualties. The crews, many soot-stained, are standing around, St. Gloriana's downcast, Kuromorimine's triumphant.

DARJEELING and ORANGE PEKOE spot MAHO and approach.

DARJEELING and ORANGE PEKOE bow, MAHO returns the gesture.

DARJEELING

Congratulations, Maho-san.

MAHO

Thank you. You put up a spirited fight.

DARJEELING

We came close, but there's many a slip 'twixt cup and lip, alas.

She looks over to where CEYLON and the LUCHS COMMANDER are engaged in animated and gleeful conversation. They seem to be recreating their battle with hand gestures.

MAHO follows her gaze.

DARJEELING

At least Ceylon-san seems to have made a friend.

MAHO

(Neutrally)

The Nishizumi school is not concerned with making friends.

DARJEELING

The final will be interesting. Who will you face, I wonder?

MAHO maintains her perfect poker face.

MAHO

That remains to be seen. Pravda are strong, if overweening.

DARJEELING

(Smiling)

Oh, quite.

DARJEELING and ORANGE PEKOE take their leave.

DARJEELING

(To ORANGE PEKOE)

I think perhaps I shall pay a visit to Katyusha. I hear her tea is excellent.

END

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

The use of screenplay scripts in fanfiction seems to be pretty divisive - some people refuse to read them. However, I felt that the format is a good fit for a TV series episode. My aim was to use the correct screenplay format and include plenty of description so that it should be a good read.

The Valentines and Matildas have a rough time of it in this fanfic, and I'd like to make it clear that I in no way mean to disparage these fine tanks.

Sorry, Assam fans, as in the TV series she doesn't get to do much here. No Jagdpanther-chan either, since KMM have left their heavy tank-destroyers at home for this round.

I feel sorry for whoever tries to create O.C. for the entire St. Gloriana team. I mean, how many different types of tea are there?


End file.
